The President's introduction:

"Welcome to the annual meeting of the Society Gaius Julius Solinus v. Washingtonius. As is our hallowed custom, all rise, and join in the iteration of the Oath:

"I [insert name here] being a librarian, library worker or quasi-professional hanging about the Conference mooching free cheese, and in good standing with the order; do hereby pledge that I [insert name here] shall support merriment, eschew whinging and depress pretension. Therefore I [insert name here] do solemnly pledge to contribute to the annual irreverence and perennial lack of respectability of the honorable and ancient Society of Gaius Julius Solinus v. Washintonius, so help me, personal Deity (or reasonable facsimile thereof).

"I now declare this meeting open"

"There are three items For the Good of the Order before we begin the presentation of papers. First, many of you may be surprised to see me standing alone at the podium. Our esteemed co-president, the lovely and talented Ms. Burdick, has left her fellow librarians to pursue a career more deeply respected and financially rewarding than ours: Musician. Second, this means that there is a position open for some sucke-- ambitious up-and-coming librarian to join me as co-president. Third, there were fewer "Requests to Present" than in years previous. Therefore, I won't be letting anyone out of this room until Items #2 & #3 are satisfactorily resolved. [S. Madden arises and stands before the door. Everyone looks suitably nervous]"

Ms. Madden, if you would open the meeting with your paper: "The Universal Reference Question"
(This paper is available upon request to: carbonelle(at)juno(dot)com)

Tomorrow: "Addressing the Balance of Gender Diversity in In-Building Early Juvenile Text-Media-Based Library Presentations" presented by K. A. Edwards